number two: math overload. commense brain funcionality shutdown in 5, 4, 3...

so here's my life right now:
monday, wednesday, friday- wake up and do 2 lessons of algebra two and 2 lessons of geometry. try to squeeze in homework. try to squeeze in time for boyfriend. go to dance. work my butt off. come home. eat dinner. pass out while reading history.
tuesday, thursday-wake up freaking out that i will be late(even though i won't. for some reason i wake up most days at like 4:30 or 5 and jump out of bed thinking i'm late for who-knows-what). get ready to go to class. be pissed off that i still don't have my own car so i have to be dropped off by my mom. go to french class. eat lunch and read history and worry. go to history class. come home. eat a snack and go to rehearsal at 3. rehearse from 3-5. have class from 5-7. rehearse from 7-8:30. come home and eat dinner. pass out reading history.

for some reason it is a lot but it doesn't look like it when i write it down here. i'm trying to do so much this year yet i still need more time to do more things. i am so exausted by math for somereason. and i just feel inadequate. how the heck am i going to go to college next year? no way i'm going to stay at TCC. i hate it there. well its not so bad. but i wish i could go to a real college. i want to get my life started. i want to go to college somewhere and work really hard and do really well! and i want to have a job. a real, steady income, legit job. babysitting is such a fake job. and since i'm sort of being catapulted into the real world a year or so early, it feels like such a little girl job. it's not even a job. wow, could i say the word job more? job job job.

which reminds me. i need to buy a car. and i'm really excited about it. there is a 93 VW cabriolet i'm really interested in on craigslist. i have to talk to daddy about it. eep! since i'm buying it with mostly my money. mean while, my friend's parents just bought here an 09 honda civic. brand spankin new. i probably shouldn't express my opinions on that one.. i love her to death though. sad thing when reality hits her as hard as it will.

ha well i have to go do more geometry. surprise.
oh! david is taking me on a date tonight for our 10 month anniversary. he totally surprised me! i'm so excited. and giggly.
love, d